It has been 36 weeks, 6 days since the day I found out that Ethan's
heart had stopped beating. I don't know why all of a sudden I had the
need to count that up. 36 weeks, 6 days. I was pregnant with Ethan
for 36 weeks, 6 days when I gave birth to him. I have now been without
him for as long as I had him. How is that possible? I know that some
days are worse than others, I know that I shouldn't do this to myself.
I know, I know, I KNOW! So, if I know, then why don't I seem to
understand? Why do I do this to myself?
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