Thursday, July 10, 2008

Normal Again?

What is "normal" anyway? Is it in comparison to a group of people, the majority of people, or just the way that a person generally acts? Why do people get so upset if the way that a person acts changes? If an alcoholic stops drinking, that's a great change. If someone stops eating horribly and starts exercising, no one gets upset that they are no longer acting "normally". If you have a child and that child survives and stays well, your "normal" still changes, because now you are daily caring for a child. Why do people think that the death of a child will not change a person? Or that if your child becomes ill and changes personality that you should not change your outlook, your "normal"?

Anytime that someone goes through a major change, their personality, daily activities, and outlook changes at least slightly, if not tremedously. Of course Ethan's death changed me. I had no idea that stillbirth happened still in developed countries when the pregnancy was uneventful and the baby was healthy. Since his death, I have not only had to deal with all the emotions, but I want to raise awareness...that's part of my new "normal". Yesterday, we took the boys to see a movie. It started, and it was really loud...Jake and Will were enthralled. But my first thought was, 'Wow, I wonder if Ethan would have been able to stay in here?' It didn't cause me pain like it used to, I no longer break down when those thoughts sneak up on me, but they are there, daily. The "What If's?" I suppose that they will always be there, and that is okay. It is my new normal, my new me. So, when am I going to be normal again? I's just a different normal.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We have to redefine our 'normal' many times as we live; sometimes for joyful reasons, sometimes for financial reasons, sometimes for painful reasons, lots of reasons.

Aunt Martha